you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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