I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
When are your genitals available?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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