What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Four minutes until I can fart!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she peed on how many people?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
