cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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