He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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