She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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