maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
