I'm drive I can fine osifer
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
