i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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