WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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