reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
