I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
