yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
