found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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