i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Two words: blizzard sex
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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