so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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