How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
