Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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