They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
