Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
