perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
