I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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