We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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