Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
