you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
