Sponge bath it is.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
