How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
