It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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