Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
