Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
