You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
