He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
