My girlfriend figured out who you are.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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