This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
