break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
