my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
