I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
