Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
