Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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