lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
