i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
