your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he told me I talked like a deaf person
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
