Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
