He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
