This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
