Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
