you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
