Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
