god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
