Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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